Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
