I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize