2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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