On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize