Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
