Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
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If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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