Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
