8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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