just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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