found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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