dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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