But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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