I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize