Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
