I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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