I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize