that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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