I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
