I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize