The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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