dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
