He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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