in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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