His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
