Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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