Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize