i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He felt like a one man threesome
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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