I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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