Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
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I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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