So drunk its hurt
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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