in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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