you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
