BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
