Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
