SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
