i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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