i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
