the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
