i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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