In the future we'll all be gay
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My cat gives me a boner
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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