I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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