i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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