i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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