this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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