I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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