I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
