was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
