I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
