I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize