MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His hands were made for my vagina.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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