Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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