Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
