He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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