How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
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Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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