She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
