This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
