It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My vagina just clenched in fear
that may or may not have been my penis.
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