Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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